Butterflies in the library
by Carazard
Summary: One day in the Christmas holidays, Remus takes a trip to the usually deserted library only to find Severus in tears - how will the two react to a new found friendship, and perhaps... even more?


Hey everyone! :D  
>First, thanks for clicking ^^ It's just a quick HP one-shot so I can get my brain together~ :D here's the info-<p>

**Pairing **– Remus/Severus (:

**Rating** – T :D there's only sex references in the beginning XD

**Summary** - One day in the Christmas holidays, Remus takes a trip to the usually deserted library only to find Severus in tears - once realizing their feelings for one another, what will happen?

**Disclaimer** – Sadly I don't own J.K Rowling's AMAZING Characters XD  
><strong>Note<strong> – Just to make it clear I've set it in their fourth year of Hogwarts (Marauder's era) and if I make some mistakes from the set timeline of the story then I apologize XD

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><p>Every single corridor inside the protective grounds of Hogwarts was silent. Not a single student roamed past the sleeping portraits, and even Peeves had gotten bored of roaming the empty corridors, as there was no one to annoy.<p>

Don't worry – nothing weird had happened to Hogwarts – it was simply the Christmas holidays, which meant that the school had only been left with a handful of students and teachers, all of whom were hiding away in their own common rooms or teacher's lounge. There was one Hufflepuff girl names Elizabeth Thompson, a few Ravenclaws – Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy were sharing the Slytherin common room, while the Gryffindor common room was left at the mercy of James Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin – the three biggest trouble makers in the whole of Hogwarts, Remus perhaps the exception. Professor McGonagall had been so troubled by this news she'd decided to stay at the school along with Dumbledore and Slughorn to keep a close eye on the three's behaviour so they didn't destroy the whole Astronomy Tower.

"Padfoot…" James moaned, "I'm _bored."_ Rolling over on the bed, and throwing a muggle porn magazine down to the floor, bored at the fact the girls didn't wink and flirt with him like the ones you could buy in the wizarding world did. Muggles must get _so_ bored; James couldn't even understand how they could live!

"Oh shut it will you? I know it's not ideal, but that's the only magazine I could get for you – I have connections and stuff, but for God's sake, it's Christmas, and no one's willing to go get me one." Sirius shrugged, "I don't really know what's wrong with it – the ones that talk always annoy me – it's like '_shut up and stop talking to me – I'm trying to wank'_ although I must admit I stumbled across one who could dirty talk quite well, and when I asked very nicely she did a few exclusive poses for me," He winked at James, "Betcha none do that for you, do they, Prongs?"

Just before James was about to reply with a made up story about how one girl had virtually had sex with him _through_ the paper barrier, Remus interjected so his innocent ears didn't have to hear the vulgar conversation, "If you two are so bored, why don't you just go and bugger off outside in the snow and have a snowball fight rather than bothering me and my studies with all your stupid conversations about porn when you're underage. For God's sake, if anyone heard us they'd think we were dealing muggle drugs or something!" He snapped his book shut, in rather a mood today – full moon must be getting closer.

"Oh god, Moony – you know no one's going to come in, it's bloody Christmas! No one's _here _apart from us three – and without Wormtail and all the other annoying twats around the place we can finally lean back and enjoy ourselves! Loosen up a bit, will you?" James moaned, earning nods from Sirius who was lying on the floor next to his dark haired best friend.

Remus opened his mouth, about to begin a lecture, only to be the one interrupted this time by two harsh knocks on the door. Who the hell was this? Exchanging confused glances, the three boys waited for James to stuff the porn magazine under his pillow, and all cried "Come in!" at the wood.

It turned out that the intruder was none other than Professor McGonagall – doing her daily check of the common room, a precaution that had only been introduced when the three boys had been left alone over the holidays. She raised an eyebrow at James and Sirius' obviously fake innocent expressions, and with a flick of her wand, the colourful pages of the porn magazine floated out from underneath James' pillow, the pages now bent slightly and they floated right into McGonagall's wrinkled outstretched hand, a stern look on her face as she tried to ignore the muggle girl taking her top off and smiling at her.

"Mr Potter, and Mr Black – you should listen to your friend Mr Lupin – as he does have an awful lot of sense in that brain of his, unlike you two idiots! Twenty points from Gryffindor for this inappropriate magazine – you're fifteen for heavens sake! Not even grown men should be looking at such vulgar images!" She scolded, though the boys couldn't help but notice that her tone was a little softer than usual, and her expression wasn't as gargoyle like – it must be the Christmas spirit softening her up a little.

"Yes, Professor." They recited the words that came like second nature; they'd said them so much. It was like a reflex now.

"Now, you three should be getting some fresh air rather than longing around here – as I do encourage studying, Mr Lupin, I also think that there are times that you should go and have some fun, and whenever there is a whole castle full of untouched snow that is one of the rare times that books should be put down – you're still children for heaven's sake! Enjoy yourselves!" And then a very strange thing happened to McGonagall – she _smiled –_ or, that's what James, Sirius and Lupin assumed the odd, scrunched up little line in her face was – it was hard to tell as it was such an odd expression for the old Professor to use. The smile actually suited her and made her look a little younger. Still old - but not as ancient as she looked with a frown pained across her cheeks.

And of course, when the Professor put it that way, there was no way the boys could refuse. So, also grinning, Remus snapped his book shut, and clambered to his feet along with Sirius and James, flooding out of the dormitory rooms, through the warm common room and out into the corridor.

"I just need to bring this book back to the library, okay?" Remus smiled, "You go and build some shelters or something, and I'll be down in a minute – I'll be able to find you 'cause I've got the Map with me," He brought out the empty parchment of the Marauder's Map, confirming his statement.

Nodding, James and Sirius ran off, calling their goodbyes behind them, grinning and laughing to each other about how they were going to pummel the other into the ground with their badass snowballs. Even at the age of fifteen they could be such children, Remus sighed, smiling to himself as he headed down the deserted corridor.

The library wasn't too far from the Gryffindor common room, and when catching the right staircase you could get there even quicker – that is if it didn't swivel away from you, leaving you stranded. That'd only happened to Remus once or twice, and he certainly didn't intend for it to be happening again any time soon. So, hopping on to the hard marble at just the right moment, the moving staircase took him right to the corridor he needed.

Luckily Madame Pince had left for the holidays to go and visit her family somewhere over in Wales (It did make you wonder how someone so old could actually have relatives those were alive and well…) so she'd left the ghosts in charge of the library – a challenge which none of the dead beings would accept – every single time Remus had visited the library since the start of the holidays it had been completely silent, not a soul there – alive or dead. The ghosts obviously had better things to do and to be fair, Remus didn't blame them – after all, they _were_ dead, so surely they should be allowed to do what they wished.

Today though, there was a change in the library. It wasn't deserted.

Remus stepped through the large doors, the hinges squeaking slightly in resistance, making it sound like an old muggle horror movie. The boy headed over to the Defence Against the Dark Arts section - one of the sections he visited regularly in his time at Hogwarts – He found the Dark Arts and defence against it most fascinating. He was about to place the battered old book on it's rightful place on the shelf when he noticed someone sitting in the armchair at the end of the row – one Remus often chose to occupy himself, as it was a lovely seat where you could easily gaze out at the relaxing sight of the grounds, as peaceful as ever.

And the person that occupied it was none other than Severus Snape, who was also gazing out of the window, unaware of Remus' presence – the tall Slytherin seemed to be interested in something outside as he gazed out at the snow, and a tear fell down his pale cheek. This sight shocked Remus, because he'd never actually seen the boy cry, though as he knew, it wasn't a rare sight to see Snape unhappy after all the bullying from James, Sirius and Peter and after being pretty much dumped by Lily Evans. Rather it was more of a rare occasion to see poor Severus look _happy_ – the only time Remus had witnessed a smile on the pale boy's face was actually by accident, when he'd stumbled across Severus and Lily walking down a corridor together, talking about pointless nothings like best friends do. Remus remembered this scene, and treasured the memory, because although his best friends loathed Snape, and constantly sought to make his life hell – Remus had actually grown to like the boy, despite never actually speaking to him. He wished, wished, _wished _that they could've been friends, but with obvious obstacles like their houses and friendship groups, that was one friendship bound never to happen. So, Remus watched from afar, like a guardian angel, and that time he'd seen Severus smile had brought such odd warmth into his heart, and it proved that even the lowliest, saddest and depressed of us all could smile purely.

But at this moment in time, Snape looked like there'd never be a hope for even the idea of a smile to ever conjure on his face again. The boy looked pretty much _destroyed_… What had happened to him?

"You know… the Muggles have a phrase – 'a problem shared is a problem halved'… But I think that could apply to wizards as well…" Remus whispered lowly, walking as casually as he could up to Snape.

The reaction to this sentence would make you think that Snape had seen the reflection of Fenrir Greyback himself in the glossy windows of the library as he jumped up from the sitting position he was in, spinning so his torso faced the speaker who was Remus, and knocked over a pile of neatly stacked books in his plea to wipe the crystal tears from his cheeks, the whites around his dark pupils increasing in size, a look of panic coming across his face as he saw it was none other than Remus Lupin, one of the boys who gave him nothing but hell. Oh this was _brilliant_ – he'd go to his little Gryffindor buddies and tell them just how cowardly Snape actually was, crying to himself in the library – that would make everyone laugh at him even more, especially Lily…

"Don't worry… Just because Sirius and James like to make your life hell it doesn't mean that I agree with it – on the contrary, I do try and discourage their actions as much as possible, and if you've ever paid any attention to me as they're tormenting you, you'll notice I never join in." Remus announced a calm smile on his face.

Snape still didn't trust this werewolf. There was no _way_ that this guy could actually be on his side – no one was on his side, especially some creepy werewolf in Gryffindor. He was just spying for his little friends. Although… Snape did have to admit that Remus had never said a word in offence to him. On the very rare occasions they'd ever spoken, Remus did nothing but smile and say positive things – Snape had never heard an insult come from the boy's voice once. Was there a small, tiny chance that the werewolf was telling the truth, and actually _did_ want to be nice to him?

Before Snape could jump to any more conclusions in his delusional brain, Remus had walked forward to join the dark haired boy at the window, gazing through the icy glass at what Snape had been watching with such passionate intent – what had been the cause of that tear? Out of the window was a beautifully romantic landscape of one of Hogwart's many courtyards, covered in snow and ice, the fountain of centaurs and house elves that usually shot out spurts of crystal water had frozen over, letting the sun catch the perfectly preserved ice, glistening and sparkling almost mysteriously. A few birds were hopping around attempting to peck up a few worms – which was a mission that had failed before it even began, there was no getting through that frozen soil.

Then suddenly, right through the scene ran James and Sirius, each armed with many snowballs floating around them as the boys enchanted the snow to fly at the other boy at high speed – surely that was cheating in a snowball fight! They ran around, scaring the birds away, and completely destroyed the once romantic scene. Remus couldn't help smile fondly despite Snape's glare.

"They've been running around there for ten minutes now – ruining every single spot I've been trying to look at that…" Snape sighed, sitting down on the arm chair again, "I was trying to clear my mind a bit – think about things, but then they _had_ to go and ruin it, like everything else in my life – they have to steal it away from me, or pelt it with snowballs and laugh at it… So I'm left with nothing but a bitter alone feeling in the pit of my stomach…" He spat, glaring at the floorboards, and then a little more quietly, "That was where Lily and I were sitting when she first said we were bet friends… and now they've gone and_ruined_ it…" A hollow laugh, "I don't even know why I'm telling you this – why should you care? You'll probably just go back to them and tell them how pathetic and weak I am – putting that much sentiment in a single memory and _crying_ over it when it's ruined."

Remus was slightly shocked – god that must hurt… He'd never realized Snape had been affected so badly by James and Sirius' teasing… But now that he sandy haired boy thought about it and repeated all the horrible things his two best friends had done to Snape, it was a wonder that the dark haired boy hadn't even resulted in self harm…

"You know, James and Sirius… They're only bored – yes, they're right gits, and sometimes they drive me up the wall, and what they're doing to you is _wrong_ – but I think if they really thought about it, and knew how upset they were making you, they'd think a little harder about what they do to you. What I'm trying to say is that they really are nice people deep down… It's just because of Lily… and James' gigantic and pointless crush on her…" Remus sighed, "He's only jealous of you."

Snape's hollow laughter rung again, "Why the hell would that bastard be jealous of me? It's not like I'm the most desirable person in the universe. Plus Lily _hates_ me right now, and says that she never wants to see me ever again… She'd be better off with Potter; at least they can be happy-go-lucky Gryffindors together once again. I may as well disappear."

"Severus!" Remus scolded, noticing the look of shock on the dark haired boy's face at the use of his first name, "You should never think about yourself like that! If you don't love yourself, then how is anyone else going to love you? You're a wonderful person! You're so clever, by what I've seen of you, you're very brave, you make – or _made_ Lily smile, and you're just a _nice_ person! I've always admired you! If you want Lily to like you again then go and do something romantic! Go and buy a bouquet of Lilies and levitate them up to her window or something and don't stop until she accepts your apology or _something_ – but you need to remember that you're a wonderful person, and nothing can change that!"

Snape stared up at Remus, not sure of what to say – just _amazed_ that someone could compliment him so much in a single paragraph… He'd never felt so… _warm_ inside… As gay as that sounded, it was true.

"T-Thank you… Remus…" Severus muttered – he'd never used Remus' name before, first or second, and if he ever came up in conversations he was referred to as 'the werewolf'. The letters felt nice in his mouth, and a light blush scattered his cheeks – despite all his previous thoughts, Remus was one of the nicest people Severus had ever met – either that or he was an incredible actor.

"So… What's the deal with Lily?" Remus smiled, perching on another near by armchair, and seeming genuinely interested in Severus' problems.

Severus shook his head, his dark greasy hair shaking around his shoulders, "I don't even know myself… As I'm sure you know I'm… quite 'socially awkward' you might call it – and I keep on making social mistakes with her… It's so annoying –there isn't one book in here that tells you how to talk to girls! How Potter and Black are so good with them is beyond me. But… Yeah – I think I insulted her when talking about the Dark Arts, and now she never wants to see me again…" Severus sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping, looking like the depressed young teenager Remus was used to seeing.

Cheering up time. "Don't worry, Sev! Yeah, you made a mistake, and if Lily's a real friend, then shell understand you made a mistake – I know she really values you! Once we had a conversation about you, and she couldn't seem to express just how much she enjoyed your company! All her friends were teasing her for being close to you – so surely the fact that she _did_ keep you as a friend prove that she values you! Severus, never give up! You can make her your bride one day if you try hard enough!" Remus smiled comfortingly, reaching out for Severus' pale hand, and cupping it I his own.

Severus flinched at the contact, worried that it was a little too weird for them to be _holding hands_, but relaxed after a few seconds, "Thank you Remus… But how did you know I have feelings for her…? I haven't_told_ anyone…"

The werewolf giggled, "Oh _Severus_, even _James_ knows you fancy her – you do make it quiet obvious! The only person in the entire school that doesn't realize it is Lily herself! I bet you even Dumbledore knows!" The giggling increased, making Remus sound like a cute little boy who'd just heard a rude joke.

The dark haired boy's face flushed, "I-it was that obvious? Hell, I didn't even know I liked her until I admitted it to myself the other day… I knew I felt different around her, but I didn't know it was something stupid like _love_ – those butterflies at the pit of my stomach, and feeling like I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time – like I never wanted to leave her side, and when she smiled, it seemed to amplify the feeling even further, making me want to cry tears of joy and fear at the same time…" his voice trailed off into a light whisper.

"… You know Sev…" Remus smiled; grasp tightening on the pale hand, "… I've been watching you for a while – I've always been quite worried about you since James and Sirius have been picking on you… And whenever I see you… I feel exactly like that – those same butterflies fly in my stomach too."

"T-that's funny…" Severus breathed, inching ever closer, "Because I can feel those butterflies too…"

The two boys' bodies began inching ever closer to each other, their breathing increasing, and heart beats beating in time with one another, in perfect synchronisation – the hands that weren't touching quickly entwined into tangles of fingers as the noses of the teenagers inched ever closer in an awkward confession. Slowly their foreheads touched, noses squished against each other's, and heavy breathing on both of their mouths. Someone was going to have to break the air between them – and surprisingly enough it was Severus who leaned into Remus, their lips finally touching one another's in a chaste embrace.

The first kiss either had ever had in their lives.

Books lied. In books and movies a kiss was the most wonderful thing in the universe – it was like fireworks exploding in mouths – tasted sweeter than any chocolate and was the most pleasurable, innocent feeling ever.

It wasn't. It was just… _wet…_ Yes – it was enjoyable, and it was nice to feel one with Severus, but Remus really didn't see why it was so much of a big deal in fiction.

It seemed that Severus agreed with Remus' judge on the whole kissing experience – maybe they just weren't old enough, but neither understood why girls enjoyed it so much. They seemed to realize the other was thinking exactly the same as them, and they just stayed there, foreheads touching, gazing into the other's eyes, and getting lost in the orbs and grinning like idiots.

"Weren't you going to have a snowball fight with Potter and Black?" Severus smiled, rubbing his nose with Remus' in a loving way. Surprisingly neither was all that embarrassed about the kiss they'd just shared. It was just _a kiss_ – and that was it. Neither wanted to start thinking about the complicated problems it would cause, including the fact that they were meant to hate each other.

"Stuff them. I'll just say I got caught up in a philosophy book or something…" Remus smiled, "Besides, I hate getting wet." He announced, and then, "Oh! That reminds me…" He rummaged in his robe pocket for his slender wand, pointed it into the air, and muttered _'papilio'_ under his breath.

As son as the last syllable of the Latin spell came out of his mouth, a group of little white butterflies floated out of the end of the wood of the wand – more and more following until the pair were surrounded in tiny white, illuminated butterflies fluttering around them like tiny birds. Severus smiled, reaching a finger up trying to catch a few in his hand, looking in his element when surrounded by the tiny creatures.

"Remus… They're beautiful!" Severus smiled, "Only someone with a heart as pure as these butterflies could produce them… It just shows how kind you truly are, despite the beast that possesses you."

Remus blushed, "Thanks, Sev…" He leaned in for another kiss – and this one was slightly different. Yes, it still felt very absent of chocolate and fireworks and extremely wet, but he didn't mind that. It was nice, and felt like he was confessing the building feelings he had for Severus. Their relationship even as friends would cause so many problems, but in the end, it would be worth it.

It was one of the most romantic scenes Hogwart's library had ever seen – and it had seen _a lot_ of romantic scenes with the whole 'confess-to-the-nerd-in-the0library' cliché – but this truly was extraordinary. Near the fire, on two separate seats were the Gryffindor and Slytherin students, two boys that by houses alone were destined to hate each other both entwined in an embrace of utter chaste love, in the most calming place. The butterflies around them slowly vanished into the air, surrounding the boys with sparkles of the disintegrating butterflies, just making the scene that little bit more special.

Every relationship has a symbolism, no matter how hidden it seems to be it ill always be there – two things that either member of the pair can instantly recognise as a reference to their other half – an object or thing that will _always_ symbolise their love together. I'm sure if you look hard enough you can find one with the one that is close to you – whether it be your best friend, worst enemy, brother, sister or lover. Everything has connections, but the problem is finding it.

And Remus and Severus found exactly that – the butterflies that flew in the pits of their stomachs, begging to escape the abyss of the body to see the sunlight once more.

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><p><strong>AN**

Thank you very much for reading! :D A load of drabble that doesn't mean much XD I hope you enjoyed! And sorry for the fail at life spell for conjuring butterflies ;_; I can't find any reference to any spell that makes butterflies appear, so I had to make one myself XD

Thank you again! And please rate and review – they make me happy :D


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